I found myself looking at the ‘Missed Connections’ part of Craigslist while posting ads for the magazine (hint, hint—we are accepting submissions) and found myself laughing and amazed at the bizarreness of this section. I had heard of it but had never had a reason to check out, until now with curiosity. What I found was hilarious and wanted to share some of the posts.
- “hi you helped shovel out a spot with me we live in the same building. I’m a twink you’re older. Im very discreet and would love to reward you with a blowjob/ please give me the name of the street and your name so i know it is you”
- “You are sitting across aisle from me right now. You very cute Asian looking at phone. Me older typing on phone. If interested say hi.”
- “It’s Been over a year, and nobody can replace you, you were the best lover I ever had, from the way you used to clench your fists when you had an orgasm, to the way your face looked so intense and biting your lip the way you looked at me,we could go for hours draining the energy from each other until there was nothing left, I really miss that, we were the perfect fit, Get back to me if you want to get together again, xo,”
- “Does anyone know anything about the hunky delivery guy at Gusts Pizza in Weymouth? He’s a Daddy Bear …about 45….dark features and hairy. Anyone with info to share would be much appreciated.”
- “Friday night (2/5) …you came to class late and practiced on the vacant mat to the right of me. You had two bracelets on your left wrist, one on your right. I was trying to be zen but I was very distracted. ;)”
- “Missing your smile when you came in the door.
Missing that first caress that turned into the next one.
Missing laying next to you in the afterglow..
Missing the satisfaction but wanting you again.
Missing “our time” So missing you, you have no idea “.
- “While waiting for the 87 bus in Porter Square, you asked me about the pins on my backpack. I thought you were charming, and I regret not sitting with you on the bus. Tell me what the pins were on my backpack and we’ll get coffee or a drink.”
- “Ugh, Caitlin, he hates you. You don’t bring enough goods to be worth it.You used his son in hopes to get to him. And I hate you for now you hope your can curse others to avoid feeling the thorns of your own pursuits. Coward middling slut who expects to cut her teeth on rings and to be a banal, generic, career girl.”
The use of ‘Missed Connections’ bids the question if every is so aware of this, have there been any reconnections? More interestingly, what has become of these people who post? Is Cailtin truly a coward middling slut (#8)? Who is ‘he’ and is this truly a good guy faced with an evil generic career girl demon bitch? Did the man who was helped with the snow removal ever get a chance to give blowies to the helper (#1)? What are the pins on that backpack (#7)? Is it possible #3 and #6 are connected and they don’t know each other are desperately searching for one another again? Will yoga every be the same (5#) and has the ‘bear’ been found (4#) or did the cute Asian finally utter the most romantic hi (#2) to the individual seeking attention? It’s all a mystery and perhaps there should be a ‘Missed Connection Followup’. In the event to turn these real moments into an exercise, I challenge all of our readers to provide a create follow up to these true stories!
You have been challenged so post below or on our Facebook page! Winner gets a shout out!